


Let me find a way to fall again

by et_tu_adashi



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam (Voltron) Lives, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, POV Adam, Post-Canon, Post-Voltron: Legendary Defender Season/Series 07, no death but it does hurt a lil, yearofadashi21
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/et_tu_adashi/pseuds/et_tu_adashi
Summary: Trust exercises can be a great way to test the trust between two individuals. But Adam can't bring himself to fall into Shiro’s open arms.The trust fall - the easiest and simplest exercise - person a, facing away from them, must fall into the open arms of person b. It shows the strength of the trust between the two individuals but also the trust person a has in person b.For Year of adashi 2021 prompt- forgiveness
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Let me find a way to fall again

“No I can't do this, this is ridiculous,” Adam huffed, frustrated.

“Adam please, just try.” Shiro said.

“I have been, can’t we just call it a night? We can continue trying in the morning.”

“Adam,” Shiro pleaded, “Just try once more. I know this is frustrating for you, but we have to actually make an effort if we want this to work.” 

‘ _ We? You mean me _ .’ Adam thought, rubbing his eyes. Adam shook his head before sighing in defeat. He closed his eyes becoming more in control of his breathing, relaxing his body as he did so. ‘ _ It’s not that hard, just fall.’ _ He reminded himself, slowly rolling his weight to his heels. Gravity pressed against his chest, daring him to fall into the patient arms of Shiro. The arms that once held him through the night, the ones that he once called home. 

“I’m right here.” Shiro softly said, reminding him of the man who was waiting for him to fall.

But even with the pushing and the knowledge of Shiro’s presence, Adam hesitated. ‘ _ Just fall, why are you so scared Adam?’  _ His mind shouted at him, wanting nothing more than to fall into Shiro’s arms to end this. But his body stayed still, balancing himself on his heels fully. Like a marionette, Adam felt as if he was being forced to be still. He scrunched up his face, frustration bubbling up inside of him. 

“I can’t Shiro. Can we just switch roles and you practice instead?” Adam asked, hoping that Shiro would agree. 

“Fine.” He muttered.

Adam opened up his eyes, guilt piercing through him. It had felt like Shiro always agreed with him. Especially now that he was back from space. Darkness overlapped the room, the sunshine that once shined through, now gone. 

Adam turned around, face to face with Shiro he became uneasy. Shiro gave him a tight smile, his weary eyes not holding Adam’s gaze for long. 

“I know that you are struggling with this Adam-” Shiro began, reaching out to place a hand onto Adam. But Adam stepped back, not wanting to be touched by him. Shiro took back his hand, hurt and heartbreak swarmed his grey eyes. ‘ _ I’m sorry.’  _ His mind called out, trying to push Adam’s body to move or even to speak those words. But he didn’t.

“Takashi.” Adam snapped, “Please can you just fall into my arms? We have been at this for hours. I’m tired.”

Shiro bit his bottom lip, still averting Adam’s gaze. Adam shook his head, his patience for this exercise finally crumbled. ‘ _ If only you could fall into his arms.’  _ His mind taunted, clenching his fist at the thought.

“So am I Adam. But I just feel like you aren’t trying.” Shiro responded, finally looking at him. 

Adam narrowed his eyes and scoffed, “I have you know Takashi, I have been trying. This entire time I have been trying to fall back?!? It’s not that simple and you know that.”

His words were sharp and hurtful, yet Shiro showed no sign of hurt, as if they hadn’t cut him. Shiro took a deep breath, “I’m not trying to fight. I just want to know what’s wrong. what’s going on in your head?”

Tears threatened to form as guilt and hurt overtook the frustration inside Adam, crushing it like a tsunami wave. ‘ _ I’m scared about this. about us, what if you leave me again?’  _ He thought. 

Silence surrounded the air between them, Shiro didn’t take his eyes off of Adam as he waited for an answer. 

“Please Shiro, just fall into my arms. Then we can talk.” He said, putting all his energy and strength in keeping the tears at bay.

“Promise?”

“Yes, I promise Takashi. I will tell you.” He said.

Shiro nodded and turned around. “Let me know when you are ready for me to fall.”

Adam held out his arms, “I’m ready.”

Like he was as light as a feather, Shiro fell back into his arms effortlessly. Warmth spread through Adam as he supported his weight. His heart sighed in relief, overjoyed to feel Shiro in his arms. It felt so right to him, like they were made perfectly for each other. He wanted to keep holding onto Shiro, but Shiro was quick to stand back up. 

There was little space between the pair now, Adam’s heart was pounding rapidly. ‘ _ Tell him, you promised.’  _ the voice in his head reminded him. He had to tell Shiro those words, to begin the healing, to move past it. Shiro deserves more than silence and snappy comments, he knew that in his heart. His eyes became more watery, he closed them to stop the tears from falling. 

“I’m scared.” He breathed, feeling his tears fall down his face. 

“Adam-” Heartbreak rang from Shiro’s voice, but Adam kept his eyes shut.

Tears streamed down his face, his body no longer able to keep the flood gates shut.

“I’m so scared, Takashi.” He hiccuped, rubbing his sweater sleeve underneath his glasses in an effort to dry his face. “What if another mission comes up again and you say yes again and you leave.”

“That won’t happen-”

“You said that last time! Yet you still left. I thought you died! Will you really stop yourself Takashi, or will you be selfish and do what you think is good for you?” Adam was shaking, breaking down fully after he asked his question. 

Arms wrapped around Adam and pulled him in close, making him break down more. He bunched some of Shiro's shirt in his fist, gripping onto it for dear life as he pressed his face into Shiro’s chest. He felt pathetic, but it didn’t matter anymore.

“It was wrong of me to do that to you and I hate myself for that,” Shiro responded, “I am so sorry for putting you through it all. The pain, the grief, if I could take it all away I would. I don’t want to ever put you through that again.”

He felt Shiro rest his head on top of his hair. “I can promise you that I will never do that. I know I broke your trust.”

Adam focused on his breath in order to control it, listening to him. His mind floated, unsure what exactly it wanted anymore. He believed what Shiro was telling him and it melted so many anxieties that were eating him up on the inside. Still he was hesitant, somewhere inside of him there was something that still held onto the doubt. It remembered the pain, the long nights of yelling and the silent mornings.

“Adam… please, say something.” Shiro’s voice cracked, his strong persona cracking with the silence. He pulled Adam slightly out of his embrace, making Adam grip onto his shirt tighter. Adam finally opened his eyes, the brown color was surrounded by red. They were still glazy, tears still falling.

“Kashi…” 

“I know I don’t deserve to be forgiven. But I want to change that, to earn back your trust and forgiveness.” Shiro said, his desperation on full display. 

“Maybe one day… But I can’t now.” Adam looked down at his hands, still holding onto Shiro’s shirt. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

His heart begged him to say  _ I forgive you _ and hold Shiro’s face in his hands, to kiss away all the problems. Adam did no such things however, even if that’s what his heart wanted, it wasn’t what he wanted. Shiro didn’t speak, and fear kept Adam from looking up at him. Not ready for what Shiro would say, would Shiro even want to continue to be with him?

‘ _ I can’t do anything for him… I’m useless. _ ’ He winced at the thought, trying to push it out of his mind. But it continued to stay firm in the presence of the silence. Shiro’s fingers slowly traced circles on his skin, causing him to sigh in relief coming as he felt Shiro’s comfort. It was his turn to have patience with Shiro and Adam was fine with standing in their bedroom like this. Even if it meant that the sun might come and greet them again before any words were spoken.

“That’s okay, I’m willing to wait.” Shiro finally spoke.

“Are you sure?” He asked, looking back up at Shiro. Shiro smiled softly at him. Adam’s eyes traced over the small smile and the tear stream on Shiro’s cheek. ‘ _ Even if it takes me years, or if it doesn't happen at all?’ _ A voice inside of him asked. But he kept the thought to himself. 

“For you Adam, I’ll do anything.” He responded.

Adam felt the corners of his mouth tug up into a smile, laughing and sniffling a little. Shiro’s smile grew bigger. Adam let go of Shiro’s shirt, the rumbled cloth flowing back down. With shaky hands, he cupped Shiro’s face.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. I love you Adam.” 

“I love you too.” He said softly, leaning in to press his lips up against Shiro’s.

The mixture of tears made the kiss salty, but even with that Shiro was just as sweet as all the other times Adam kissed him. It felt right as if they were meant for one another. The anxieties and cruel voices melted away, and in that moment nothing else seemed to matter. Adam pulled away from the kiss, letting his hands fall down to his side. 

He whispered softly to Shiro, “I think I’m ready to try again.”

Shiro nodded and unraveled his arms that were holding onto Adam still, he mourned silently at the loss of warmth. Adam swiveled around on his feet now facing away from Shiro. His heart rate sped up, as he faced the same wall again. Various pictures of the pair together with one another and their friends smiled at him, reminding him that it was okay.

“Whenever you are ready Adam.” Shiro told him.

Adam nodded, closing his eyes as he found a rhythm to control his breathing. ‘ _ He’s right behind you, to catch you when you fall. _ ’ The soft voice of the therapist crept into his mind, taking him back to the office when they first practiced the trust fall. He slowly leaned back, gravity becoming eager again to bring him down.The marionette strings that once held him back were now cut, no longer holding in him limbo, he was free. Adam kept his eyes closed as gravity pushed him finally off of his heels. Falling for only a few moments before landing in Shiro’s arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> Cut to them months later in the kitchen hanging out and talking about their days and Adam realizing he has forgiven Shiro :) 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fic. Please give a kudos and leave a comment if you did. You can also find me on twt as @ettuleo, i talk a lot of adashi there.


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